I wonder how many brownie points we get in heaven for taking children to the grocery store with us?
My choices were limited today considering that my teenager is in Texas, leaving me to take my two younger daughters with me.

This is always an adventure.

I can honestly say I get very little pleasure in taking my children to the grocery store.

We started our journey with a promise of McDonalds for lunch as a pre-payment for services rendered---i.e. good behavior.
This is always a bad move in the game of life. I knew better. I knew that no matter how much my sweet darlings meant their promise, they were standing in front of Mount Everest without hiking boots and rope. I have to take credit for some of it. I set them up for failure. As a mother, women learn early on that rewards are only issued after a promise has been fulfilled.
DUH~!

Okay, my girls weren't so bad today, but any parent can find humor in just simply imagining the day I had. Ergo, the ha ha funny part.

Our first stop was "Sav-A-Lot."
It is the ghetto store in town. We are generally scared to be there, but when most of my budget is being ate up in my gas tank, I have to succumb to reality---it's cheap.
We were in the store long enough for me to flow through two isles (I always travel up and down each isle--I am less likely to forget something) when Cori and Nikki begin to make noise. I look up from the cans of tomato sauce and notice that Nikki has her sister in a head lock. They are giggling--loudly. I turn my lips into thin lines and through gritted teeth say, "One."

This is my magic word for my daughters. They know that if I start counting, then they might be the victims of dismemberment.

Nikki jerks her arm away from Cori and Cori lifts her head. They pause long enough to look each other in the eye as if to say, "Oh oh!" and then they run over to me. I then lean over like the Godfather and in a low man tone inform them that death awaits them if they do not stop jacking around. Well, actually a visit to the bathroom is a more accurate to what I told them, but hey, death is funnier.
Anyway, soon after "WWF left the building," Cori and Nikki begin to giggle again and then Cori comes up to me and announces that she has to go to the bathroom--number two. Nikki then informs me that Cori's "predicament" is the reason why she had her sister in a head lock. Apparently, Cori told Nikki first, but said it loudly. Nikki, in her embarrassment decided a wrestling move in the middle of the store was much less noticeable and a solid solution to her embarrassment.
Less go back a moment.
Nikki and Cori, both, talk loudly....very loudly. In fact, if I had to pick, Nikki is the louder of the two. So, when Cori came to me and asked to go to the bathroom because she had to go number two, she used her best inside voice....which, in reality is three octaves higher than "soft spoken."
Now, since Cori brought it up, Nikki felt obliged to explain her previous behavior.....ten octaves too high with a twist of whine added for flavor.
I quickly put my hand over the childs' mouth to attempt to muffle the words of potty talk and number two.
I looked around to see how many people were able to witness my own embarrassment......there were only 4, two of which I knew from the school district. (Isn't small town living lovely?) NOT!

Well, I not only had to recover from my blush, but had to then explain to Cori, while keeping her silent, that she would invariably get a disease if she were to use the restroom at this particular facility.
"What disease?" she wants to know.
"I don't know......a lot of them...bad ones......ones that will make your rear swell up and fall off."
She giggled and then I asked her if she could hold it. She looked worried, but like the trooper she is, said she could.
I then did some speed shopping through the rest of the store. In my haste, my demons suckered me out of pop rocks candy.
I was desperate for a bribe! OKAY! Don't judge me!
It worked, that is all that matters.

We went home unpacked the goods and let BOTH girls take care of business before we made the trek to Wal-Mart.
That trip was actually uneventful. I mean, what could they do. They already got candy and McDonalds. They had been fed and emptied.
YAY!

There was only a small glitch...Hannah Montana.
Apparently, there is going to be a Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana concert on t.v. tomorrow. Not only that, but in 3-D. The glasses can be found at.........you guessed it......Wal-Mart.

I promised to go to the back of the store to claim the sacred link to Hannah Montana. I just wanted to check out first.

OOPS!!! I forgot!
They did too.

We got home and was in the middle of putting the groceries away, when Phillip called and wanted me to pick him up from work (his car is ill at the moment).

On the drive to GP, Nikki remembered the glasses.
Oh man!!!

We retrieved the dad and headed over to Wally World.
When we arrived, the girls both announced that they did not throw on shoes before we left the house. I was driving, so I looked over at my most perfect hubby and overly devoted father to my children.
He must have felt a cold chill. I can only imagine that it felt a little like a snake sliding over his bare back.
He looked at me.
I batted my eyes and said the following, "How would you like to have the opportunity to be the best daddy in the whole wide world?"
He tilted his head with suspicion and asked me, "Why?"

I informed him that our daughters would spontaneously combust if they did not get the 3-D glasses from Wal-Mart and since I was driving, would he be willing to make the harrowing journey to find the holy grail to little girl happiness.

He sighed and said he would.
(He is such a good man!)

We went in and come out with 5 pairs.
He racked up some serious daddy brownie points with the girls!

Well, we came home and there is nothing else of interest that has happened this evening.
I suppose though, that you can think of Phillip and myself tomorrow. We will be going to a Hannah Montana concert......in the den. We will be decked out with popcorn and popsicles.
It is going to be a blast!

Smooches and ciao!